Friday, March 21, 2014

So Much



I remember the day I took out my Concordance and looked up Joy.  Because I needed it.  Because I craved it.  Because my ex-husband and Satan had taken my daughter away from me on charges of child abuse.  Trumped up charges and lies.  Because she couldn't explain.  Because her communication ability was incomplete.

I looked up joy because my joy, my daughter, was not waking up in my home, padding through the carpeted rooms to give me the first hug of the morning.  Because my sun wasn't rising - it had fallen.  Fallen in the anguish and tears of a broken heart.  And I had fallen.  Fallen into a pit of despair and un-hope.  And I had fallen to my knees in prayer - begging, wrenching, soul-crushed prayer.  Over and over, waking and sleeping, pacing through the house, the empty empty silent house...

Father.  Oh Father.  Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus.

Because all I could do was call on the name...

So I looked up joy and found this:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.   James 1:2-4

God is amazing.  He showed me this passage and gave me hope.  That's when I started to pick up the pieces and fight back.  Perseverance is working through - surviving through the hard times to get to the better times.  And I did.

My daughter is with me.  Her life is free from the shackles of her father's lies.  And we have never stopped counting the joy of her in ours.  Now I write about joy - about finding joy in the ordinary and the everyday.  Even in the worst of times.  Consider it pure joy.... God, our Father, loves us SO much!

Linking With 5 Minute Friday


8 comments:

  1. It seems that you have gone through a mother's (a good mother, anyway) worst nightmare and you have come out on the other side of it! Your writing is encouraging to me. Thank you for your positive, life-giving words! Keep writing :-)
    ~Your FMF neighbor

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    1. It WAS a nightmare. But it IS over - and even though it's been years, I can still remember how helpless I felt... But there were so many God-things that happened during that time, I almost couldn't help but grow spiritually, emotionally, and in joy. God is good all the time, even in our worst moments - Thank you for your encouraging words. Have a wonderful Friday! Janet

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  2. What a precious story of perseverance, patience, peace, and restoration. It reminds me of part of this reading I read in Isaiah 54 this morning...verses 15-17...check those words out...a perfect Word for you and me this morning. Joy comes in the morning! :)

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    1. Perfect! One day I'll write about the actual court proceedings where his attorney became so tongue-tied she couldn't speak, where the police officer who was put on the stand to testify against me actually retracted everything instead, where you could palpably feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in the room. It was amazing! And yes, joy comes every morning, physically when my 22-year old daughter (who also has Down Syndrome) wraps her arms around me and gives me her good-morning hug and kiss. I am thankful Every morning. God is good all the time. Have a wonderful Friday. Janet

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  3. Oh friend. This took my breath away. Your sweet girl is absolutely beautiful!

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  4. Hi Janet! This sounds like a horrific situation. But you were led to Scripture, which is such a blessing and a strength. I wonder if I would just cry and cry? I'm SO happy that it all worked out for you. I hope your daughter is not super-confused about it all. Sounds like you want to write about the situation, and I'd love to hear more about how God won the victory for you.

    He wins every time, doesn't he? Bless your fighting spirit my friend,
    Ceil

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    1. I did cry and cry - but there was also support in many ways - my church, my family, and scripture (absolutely...) I do believe that we are meant to walk in the Valley of the Shadow of Death...God doesn't say He'll keep us from it, but rather He'll walk beside us...that situation was one of our 'valleys'. I definitely felt His presence. Sierra is incredibly resilient - there was confusion for a short time, but love and God helped her as well. Just an added note - we absolutely cut off communication with her biological dad as soon as she turned 18. It wasn't a decision based out of revenge or spite - I still pray that he will find Jesus - It was a decision based out of the need to be emotionally healthy. Which, thank-you-God, we all are.

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I know we probably haven't met in person, but I believe that the sharing of our ideas and thoughts, sometimes our hearts and souls, makes us more than strangers. I would like to say friends. Thank you for taking the time to contribute to my little space - I appreciate you.