I Run 4

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. 

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. 

Hebrews 13:1-2

I have been considering this post now for several weeks. I just couldn't put together the words that I thought would do my feelings any justice... I still can't.

So, I'm guilty. I admit that Facebook, social media, and morning news programs probably take up way too much of my time. I'm guilty of clicking on videos and shared posts about the positive and the inspiring. I'm guilty of watching news programs that are typically heavier on social news and viewer interest stories, than on actual hard news. I am perfectly capable of reading the headlines scrolling along the bottom of the screen but I'd rather listen to friendly and encouraging. I'm guilty of thinking there should be balance between tragic and inspirational stories, between mean-ness and bullying and kindness, and between crime and integrity. It's one of the reasons for the title of this blog - Finding Joy in an Ordinary World... I'm guilty of thinking we should look for joy, choose joy, recognize that we might actually be surrounded by joy.

I've been a member of this group for about a year and have been matched with an awesome little 4th grader buddy for about 6 months. This post really doesn't have as much to do with him as it does so many others in the group. See, for a year now, I've been reading over all the great accomplishments by runners and buddies and seeing great runner/buddy relationships develop (including my own). But, I have also seen the posts that always make that lump in my throat and blur my vision a little bit. They're the posts that mention when someone's buddy is suffering or, God forbid, lost their fight. 

Case in point: I Run 4 Michael

This is a non-profit organization founded by a man named Tim Boyle, in 2013. According to the website, http://www.whoirun4.com/, Tim took up running after quitting a 2-pack/day habit. While searching for running motivation (he clocked 15-20 miles per week), he came across and posted this quote to his facebook page: 

I run because I can and when I get tired I remember those who can’t run 

and I run harder for them.

A friend of his happened to read his quote. This particular friend was a 50-year old man with Down syndrome, and bilateral hip displasia. He answered Tim's facebook message:

You can run for me anytime!

With 16 years in the military and 9 years in law enforcement, I used to consider myself a strong person. After the birth of my daughter in 2013, I finally realized how accurate Gary Allen was when he sang, "When tough little boys grow up to be dads, they turn into big babies again". Now, when I see so many children in pain or suffering, I just can not fathom the immeasurable amounts of strength that is demanded of their parents. Every time I see that another buddy has earned their wings (and I hate seeing it), I just don't know how I could even attempt to face another day after the loss of my child. I don't know what I would do if my child was suffering and I was powerless to help her. 

 It's about fostering relationship. It's about motivation. It's about encouragement, and support, and celebrating diversity. It's about health - physical and emotional. Runners/athletes are matched with buddies of all ages, and all disabilities. When they train, they post to their buddy via a closed facebook page. They post pictures; they share special moments and celebrations. Sometimes they send race paraphernalia to their buddy. Buddies and buddy-parents write back - encouraging and supporting, sharing their own milestones and celebrations.

So, this one goes out to all of the parents of buddies. With all of these children suffering in their own ways, I am in admiration and awe of the strength and love that you exude on the good days and, moreover, the bad days. You all amaze and inspire me every.single.day. 

In the short two years since its inception, I Run 4, Inc has over 32,000 members. Over 10,500 'buddy' matches have been made across all 50 states and in 29 different countries. They desperately need more 'buddies' to sign up. Why? Because there is a waiting list of athletes, a waiting list of over 3000 who want to run for someone who can't, who want to develop a relationship with a family, who want to share their joy. Some athletes wait over six months to be matched.

This weekend, I'll run the Spartan Super in Virginia; a course that really beat me down last year. But, I apologize to my buddy, John, because this weekend, I run for his mommy, Tuesday Shannon.                       Quotes from David Paul - 8/18/2015

There were over 200 replies and comments to Mr. Paul after he posted his thoughts on the Facebook page, IRun4Michael. Comments from parents and caregivers who sometimes feel isolated and alone due to circumstances around their child's disability. I understand. Been there. And the kindness and compassion of a stranger brought me to tears. After asking his permission to print his words, I just thought I'd share.

Sierra signed up and was matched with a runner about a month ago. Just one more instance of a world of hope.

Linking with EverydayJesus, Thought-Provoking Thursday, Reflect Linkup

How Do You Choose?

Welcome to Five-Minute Friday, where writers madly scramble to respond in five minutes to a one-word prompt. No editing, no revisiting, just the page, the thoughts, the words, and the timer. The word today: Free. 

Our Creator was. And is. And is to come.
Eons passed in His Void before He spoke.
From His breath, emptiness became.
Darkness, light, heavens, earth, oceans, and sky.
All that we know, all that we are, fashioned and molded
Lovingly, purposefully, with great gentleness and quiet command.

Thou shalt not eat of the tree...

But we did. And we do. And we will continue.
Children of Mighty Jehovah
Created with free will

And there are wars.
And there is poverty,
And slavery,
And abuse.
Neglect,
Manipulation,
Great sadness,
And terror.

But there is also kindness.
There is sacrifice,
And humility,
And community,
Joy,
Hope,
Seeds of faith,
and grace.

Created with free will.

How do you choose?

I wanted to respond to the shooting in Chattanooga, a terrorist act against our military. My husband is military. I am military. I remember the shooting on Fort Hood. The shut-down of schools - the scrambling to pick up my daughter - the frantic phone calls and text messages to know that my husband was safe. For our family, peace in the moment. For others, a forever reminder that our world is not. Not  

And now this. Again. It is one thing to know, intellectually, from a distance, that we are hated. It is another to feel it, see it, in acts of terror in our own home. 

The problem is free will. The answer is free will. In all things. I choose to not be frightened by circumstances, both beyond my control and beyond my comprehension because I believe in Jesus Christ, my Savior, and my hope for a new world. A better world. A world I will be a part of. I choose hope. I choose love. I choose joy.

Dream

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

Ok, so I'm cheating just a little bit. The prompt today is Dream; we're supposed to write for five minutes and then stop. My problem is, I've thought about this prompt before, in life. I don't think I'm wrong to suppose that we've all had dreams, dreams that change, dreams that are forgotten in years of living, years of making the best of, years of other priorities. We've been told to follow our dreams, to reach for our dreams, to dream big and to dream on. We've been told what we should dream, what we could dream, and how to interpret our dreams. We've wanted our dreams to come true, like fairytale wishes. All of us. Dreaming about so many things. And for many, our dreams grow and mature - they encompass more than just ourselves. They include our family, our children and spouses. They include our country. They include our world.

So this is the cheat. I've written for almost five minutes, but I also want to share. My daughter just turned 24 a month ago. I still remember how her birth and diagnosis of Down syndrome rocked my perfect world, how my hopes and dreams for my child were changed, shifted, blown away. Hope deferred... But I didn't remain heartsick - God had different plans. Following is an excerpt from a book-in-the-making about my daughter. Well, really about how raising Sierra has changed my life. The Very-Do Adventure is a description of the journey - 

The road goes ever on and on down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone, and I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet, until it joins some larger way,

Where many paths and errands meet. And wither then I cannot say.

J.R.R. Tolkien

I am in the office, thinking about the past 23 years. Sierra is in the other room, exercising.  I hear the music and I picture her, eyes focused on the video following the steps of an on-screen avatar. That birthday of hers is almost here and I am remembering doctor visits, therapies, early intervention, Individualized Education Plans. I reflect on decisions made, on scaffolding, on choices. There are differences between parenting a child with extra needs and a typically developing child, but the similarities outweigh those differences. Great strides have been made in quality of life, education, health, and acceptance of our differently-abled population. 

Almost twenty-three years on this very-do adventure.

I am in the office, thinking about my wishes and hopes for my girl, for the people around her, for parents and families who are new to the parenting adventure, parents and families with typical and extraordinary journeys ahead. I think big thoughts that float and glitter like giant, helium-filled mylar balloons on parade. Balloons that proclaim Universal Hopes and Dreams. I think beyond Down syndrome.

I hope that my daughter will be safe from any who want to take advantage of her. I hope she continues to search for and find purpose. I hope that others, parents, families and communities learn as much from their sons or daughters, as I have from mine. I wish them joy in the journey. 

I wish that being 'special' wasn't an automatic label based on a diagnosis. My daughter has EARNED the description of special based on her unique personality, her unique outlook, her unique actions.

I wish there weren’t disappointments in the disability, but rather celebrations in the ability. I wish, like Chris Burke, it could be called Up Syndrome.

I hope that people take time and effort to get to know my girl. I hope they take time and effort to get past the challenges of understanding her speech, past her conversation loops, her need to please, her drama moments. I hope they discover her sense of humor, her empathy, her distinctive intelligence, spirituality and joy. I hope they appreciate the journey.

I hope she experiences true, unconditional friendship. I hope she experiences Relationship (with a capital ‘R’).  Active, vibrant, caring relationship. Beyond family. 

 ~~~~~

"It is my birthday, next week. Are you scared?” 

Done exercising and back to her favorite topic, my daughter interrupts my thoughts.

“No, Sweetie, not scared,” I fold her Zumba’d body in my arms. I blink back warm tears of hope and love, turn away from the computer and focus on my soon-to-be birthday girl. “I am incredibly blessed.” 

Linking with Five-Minute Friday

can you imagine?

i saw a music video.  

sound was on, all the words running together 

and the bass thumped thumped from the box, 

through the floor, and drove me.  

the music drove me, 

but the images remained.  

i can't remember the song;

i can't remember the artist.  

it's the images.

flash.  

there's someone talking, 

hands waving, 

body posture all tight 

and wound up.  

bullets from their lips.  

streaking across a room, 

across a road, 

across a field.  

bullets.  

embedded in our words.  

escaping from our lips.  

shot from our mouths.  

flash.  

bullets.

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, 

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 12:18

and i want to see the other side of this video.  

i want to see love in our words.  

embedded.

  

so much love that it escapes 

- tendrils of love escaping from our lips.  

from our mouths.  

like beams of light.  

like falling stars 

- streaking across a room, 

across a road, 

across a field.   

i want to see wisdom 

flowing like cool hands on a hot day.  

like cold, clean water, 

sparkling, 

dancing, 

crisp and refreshing.  

i want to see hope 

like a new leaf, 

unfurling in the springtime.  

like a rosebud, 

unmasking velvety-soft petals in a shy pageant.  

i want to see encouragement 

in rainbow array, 

spilling out in playful waves.

can you imagine?  

God, help me speak rainbows today, not bullets.  

Help my words be words that heal, that bring hope, that love.

Jesus, help me tame my tongue to your service.

Linking With:
Unite
Titus 2 Tuesday

Let It Go

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;  

it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. 

Lamentations 3:25-26

We wake up pretty early in our home - before four - because my husband has to go on post and lead his soldiers in PT - physical training.  Early.  I've found that if I don't get up with him, then my entire schedule becomes different than his - which means we don't really live together.  Well, yes, we live in the same home - but we don't live in the same time.  We don't eat together.  We don't talk together.  We don't see and hear the same news, or shows, or attend the same events.  We have no common discussion because we - don't - live  - together.  We learned this the hard way.

So we have just enough time to share coffee, check the weather, and discuss the 'state of the household' before he leaves.  Not much - but important.   We've had some practice.  By the time he goes out the door, we both know what's for dinner and what time to have it ready.  We know whether he's coming home at lunch or breakfast.  We know if either of us needs to do an errands, or spend any money.  By the time he goes out the door, we've usually had a chance to comment on the day's headline stories - quick-judgement comments that tell more about our relationship than about the news itself.  And we don't always agree.

We save up for discussions.  For when we have the luxury of spending real time together - time to look beyond our household, time to throw our own blanket of beliefs across events beyond our personal lives.  It's kind of fun - solving the world's problems with my husband.   Especially when we bring our different backgrounds and experiences to the table.  Especially when we are able to see situations from different viewpoints.  And personally, I am fascinated by the way my husband thinks.  He has a way of rendering the fat out of information - clarifying - He has a way of recognizing what is important.

It's a big picture thing.  He sees beyond the present moment; good and bad consequences - fallout from this or that action.  It's a talent.  A gift.  He calms me with his vision - is it a matter of life and death? - he'll ask, when I tell him about my fears and anxieties.  

No....  

Then don't worry so much.  Do what you can do - do it the best you can - and then let it go.

Oh.  Oh yeah.  I know that.  I forget, sometimes, in the moment, in the confusion, in the stress.  

Sometimes, the best you can do is hope in God.  He is good.  Sometimes, the best you can do is continue the things you have been taught - pray, study, conduct yourself well.  Sometimes, the best you can do is wait.  It worked for the Israelites in Babylon - it worked for the disciples in Galilee - it works for me.

Do what you can do - do it the best you can - and then let it go.

Heavenly Father, sometimes I worry about things I have no control over.  Sometimes I worry about situations in my life and the lives of my family.  Sometimes, I just plain worry about the state of the world.  Thank you for reminding me:  I can pray.  I can study.  And with Your help, I can conduct myself well.  When I put my hope in You, then I can wait.  Then I can be still and let it go.