In A Heartbeat

"Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."  But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you.  Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. 

Jeremiah 1:6-8

My husband and I sit in church together.  I like that.  I like that we listen to the same message with different ears - with different perspectives - even though we have technically shared the same life for the last 18 years.  He surprises me sometimes.  I like that, too.

One Sunday, after a message about giving up all your worldly goods to follow Jesus, I asked my husband if he would do that - give everything up.  We had just bought a home - our first home purchase - and he'd done some updating and remodeling.  I loved going to work and coming home to spacious and pretty.  My home had become a kind of sanctuary to me, a retreat.  So I asked him if he'd be willing to give it all up to follow Jesus - like the disciples - to, in a sense, become homeless...the shirt on his back, not knowing about his next meal or where he'd sleep...  He surprised me.

"In a hearbeat," he said, in that no-uncertain-terms way he has.  Like of course I would, wouldn't you - I think he saw the look on my face - the look that doubted, that second-guessed, that said I wasn't sure.  

"It's Jesus."  He told me, like how can you even think otherwise.  Like there was only one answer to that question.  Like how can you even doubt.  It wasn't his answer I wasn't sure of - it was mine.

And my head said, how could I ever give up? How could I live without?  But what about... and surely he didn't mean...  And my heart said, why not?  Why are you anxious?  What do you fear?  And I pictured myself on a long road, without any cars, without any buildings, without any people - alone - except for all my worldly goods, scattered around me in boxes and disarray.  All mine.  Empty things.

And I thought oh-my-goodness-I-would-give-it-all-up-to-follow-Him... Just one second, just one minute in His presence would be more than any sanctuary, better than any retreat.  I want to live for, with, and forever about HIM.

And everything falls into place - Jesus with his disciples - speaking to the rich man.  Telling him he has only to give everything away.  Only.  And the rich man walking away - he couldn't do it.  And Jesus telling his disciples it was easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle...  And his disciples asking him how that was possible - that - the eye of the needle - and Jesus saying they couldn't do it - they'd never be able to do it except through God.  And that's the crux.  That's the point.  Nothing is possible without Him - all things are possible with Him.

And my heart echoes my husband - in a heartbeat - and my head says Yes, in a heartbeat.

I Can Only Imagine     Mercy Me

I can only imagine what it will be like

When I walk by Your side

I can only imagine 

what my eyes will see

When Your face is before me

I can only imagine  Yeah

Surrounded by Your glory

What will my heart feel?

Will I dance for You Jesus?

Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence

Or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing, Hallelujah?

Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes

And I find myself standing in the sun

I can only imagine when all I will do

Is forever, forever worship You

I can only imagine, yeah

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory

What will my heart feel?

Will I dance for You Jesus?

Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence

Or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing, Hallelujah?

Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine

I can only imagine

When all I would do

Is forever, forever worship You

I can only imagine

Heavenly Father, thank you for different perspectives.  Through you all things are possible.  Help me to trust you more.