Monday, May 6, 2013

You Are My Home

Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24  The Message

I am a military wife.  I am proud of my husband and the choices he has made to serve his country and to provide for his family,  He has been deployed three times - away from us,  his family, three times.  Many have handled more separation; many have handled more separation with younger families and little or not support.  Even so, even though we understood the circumstances, even though we were able to communicate on a regular basis, even though we knew the limits of the time we would be apart, and even though we had amazing support through family, church, and my own work - even so - deployment is difficult.  Worry is always lurking - worry for safety - prayers for wholeness - physical, mental, and spiritual.  The families left behind find ways to pick up the slack left by the absence of one of their members.  Find ways to attend to the emptiness, the missing, the hole in their everydays.  Lives get smaller, or busy-er.  Lives are torn apart, or pulled closer.

I heard something the other day.  You are my home.  So true.  It allowed me to better understand my husband's deployments - our separations.  Sometimes, in the moments, it's too hard, too close to label.  I'm one of those people who believe if you can name it, admit to it, take responsibility for it, then you can better determine how to handle/change/fix it.  You just can't fix everything.  At least, not without the waiting. This poem is my label.  The part of me without my daughter, without my job - the isolated connected-body-and-soul-to-my-husband part of me that just wanted him near.

You Are My Home

She tried them on
Like new clothes
In her mind
Treading softly
Through cathedral caverns
Of memories and 
Threads of conversation

You are my home.

Not lost
Not afraid
Not timid
Outside of herself
She roamed
In the needs of others
Winding and twisting
Like a mountain road

You are my home.

Hovering, pushing
Thoughts and images
to the periphery
Away from living 
Away from yearning
Moment by moment

You are my home.

She accomplished.
She did
What had to be done.
As anyone would.
Not special.
Not strong.
Like a tree in the wind

You are my home.

Boots on the ground, soon.
The hardest part
The looking-forward part
The can't-forget-him part
The getting-ready part
And restless waiting

"You are my home."

She breathes to her soldier
Upon his return
From far-off
From far-wide
From worlds away.
Bodies grown together
Like a lifetime.
No letting go.

"You are my home," he whispers back.

I am constantly amazed at the works of God.  I don't believe in coincidence.  We are always in His divine plan.  After writing this post, I was looking through and catching up with my friends on facebook.  I would like to share this video - posted by a friend in Texas.  Timely and beautiful - called Shadow Dance.  

Heavenly Father. you are an awesome God.  Thank you for small reminders, everyday, of you, you who are in charge and in whose hands we live.  Thank you for my husband - for the gift of his being home.  

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